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Lori Linna column: One of those weeks when everything falls apart

11:26 AM, Jun. 27, 2013  |  Comments
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If I seem a little grumpier than usual this morning it's because it has been that kind of a week. It seems like everything I touch lately either falls apart, breaks or doesn't work at all.

First I attempted to spray a bottle of weed and feed on our lawn. Following the directions on the label, I turned the green tab-thingy, pushed in the white doohickey and attached the bottle to the garden hose. Of course, one can't tell if any of the liquid has dispensed until one has sprayed for awhile so after the third time of spraying the front lawn and finding the bottle still full, I gave up.

I went inside and made microwave popcorn but ended up burning it. There's nothing worse than the smell of burned popcorn in the house and it seems to linger for days. Next, I toasted some mini-bagels and one got stuck in the toaster. By the time I extracted it using various tools, the bagel was a shredded pile of breadcrumbs. Throwing the crumbs outside for the birds, I wondered if anything else was going to go wrong that day. Since it was only noon I didn't have to wait long for my answer. Preparing dinner that night I burned myself three times, twice from the stove and once taking something out of the oven. Sometimes it pays to stay out of the kitchen.

Appliances aren't the only things I seem to have a contentious relationship with these days. I also have trouble with anything that needs to be closed. There's always a trash lid that won't stay on, a closet door that won't stay shut or a bin with a lid that doesn't quite fit. In our garage there is an upright storage unit with two doors where I keep gardening supplies (including the non-working lawn sprays). I would put something away, close the doors, go back a few minutes later to find one of the doors slightly ajar. I would check to make sure nothing was in the way forcing the door open, close it, walk away, come back and find it open again. I even tried to trick it once by pretending to walk away, turning around quickly to find the door had opened in the two seconds I didn't have my eye on it. This went on all day until I finally took a push broom and propped it up against the door to keep it shut. So far it has worked on the days I am not tripping over the broom.

As I sit here writing this, I am reminded of a Carol Burnett episode my mother and I watched on TV when I was a kid. In the skit, Carol comes home with groceries and proceeds to try to open several packages without success. Getting a headache, she reaches for the vial of aspirin but can't open that either. Disgusted, she walks away leaving all of her groceries on the counter. Carol, I know exactly how you feel.

What's your take on the Packers Family Night change?

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It doesn't matter to me.(Your vote)
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If you've ever answered "Who has the ball?" with "It's halftime," you might recognize The Airhead. Check out the characters in our cartoon gallery of oddball fans.

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