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The Village Idiot: Psst! Wanna know a secret?

9:37 PM, Jun. 18, 2013
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"I can't believe the government is invading my privacy! We might as well be living in Russia!" said the guy in aisle 3 into his cellphone. I don't know if the NSA could hear him, but everyone else in the Shop and Go Away could. And he's worried about his privacy?

The guy was still ranting and raving about his privacy at the checkout counter where he pulled out his Shop and Go Away "loyalty card" to save 35 cents on a can of tuna. The loyalty card will instantly tell the Shop and Go Away's giant computer that he likes tuna and that he shops at 5:35 p.m. on Fridays, which it will add to all the other information ...

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If you've ever answered "Who has the ball?" with "It's halftime," you might recognize The Airhead. Check out the characters in our cartoon gallery of oddball fans.

Special Reports