NFL power rankings

1. New England Patriots 1 (last week)

QB optional.

2. Denver Broncos 3

Sacking QBs at a stadium near you.

3. Minnesota Vikings  7

Defense ranked No. 3 in offense.

4. Kansas City Chiefs 11

Holding serve until Charles returns.

5. Philadelphia Eagles 20

Will use bye to notarize 3-0 record.

6. Pittsburgh Steelers 2

Sporting a Week 3 shiner.

7. Green Bay Packers 10

Spending bye complaining about bye.

8. Seattle Seahawks 6

Wilson treating knee with lattes.

9. Cincinnati Bengals 9

Using weekend to enjoy happy place.

10. Baltimore Ravens 15

NFL investigating if really 3-0.

11. Dallas Cowboys 13

Prescott finally told he’s a rookie.

12. New York Giants 8

May be sent home in Viking ship.

13. Atlanta Falcons                                    19

Next up through turnstile on way to Cam.

14. Arizona Cardinals 4

Palmer trying to use up his INTs.

15. Houston Texans 12

No Watt, not squat.

16. Carolina Panthers 5

Roman empire didn’t fall this fast

17. Los Angeles Rams 23

Need to be reminded drafted QB No. 1.

18. Oakland Raiders 24

Will try to peck away at Ravens.

19. New York Jets 14

Treat red zone like it’s Goodwill.

20. San Diego Chargers 16

Casey Hayward changes name to Deion.

21. Detroit Lions 18

Hard to keep up with (Marvin) Joneses.

22. Buffalo Bills 31

Will show N.E. how QBs get sacked.

23. Washington 25

Proved they are team that might show up.

24. Tampa Bay Buccaneers 17

Perfecting look-out blocks for Broncos.

25. Indianapolis Colts 26

Will trade frequent-flyer miles for win.

26. Tennessee Titans 21

With Watt out, shutout plan averted.

27. San Francisco 49ers  22

Rumors abound that end zone exists.

28.  Miami Dolphins 27

Five-win plan working nicely.

29. Jacksonville Jaguars 28

Bracing for post-London firings.

30. New Orleans Saints 29

Brees asking to be dropped off in S.D.

31. Chicago Bears 30

Offering fans eggs to throw at Cutler.

32. Cleveland Browns 32

Best on-base percentage in NFL.