NFL Power rankings

1. New England Patriots (last week) 1
Bill wanted LeBron thrown in Collins deal.
2. Dallas Cowboys 3
Romo practicing clipboard drills.
3. Seattle Seahawks 2
Feel refs should look the other way.
4. Atlanta Falcons 6
Own time-share in the end zone.
5. Kansas City Chiefs 8
Foles out to prove he’s a quarterback.
6. Oakland Raiders 9
Have offense to punch holes in Broncos D.
7. Denver Broncos 10
Have defense to punch Raiders’ noses.
8. Minnesota Vikings 5
O-line so bad, Norv got sacked.
9. Philadelphia Eagles 4
Left their lunch money in Dallas.
10. Green Bay Packers 7
Have a well-rounded D: no corners.
11. Washington 11
Returned from London with nothing but tie.
12. Houston Texans 17
Well past their freshness date.
13. Detroit Lions 12
Pressure on now that Cubs have won it.
14. Pittsburgh Steelers 16
Ben can’t afford Ravens taking a knee.
15. Buffalo Bills 13
Goal is to outscore their defense.
16. Cincinnati Bengals 15
Ran out the clock in overtime.
17. Miami Dolphins 18
Have nothing to lose but another game.
18. Tennessee Titans 23
Mariota catching on to this QB thing.
19. New York Giants 20
Feel like they won bye week.
20. San Diego Chargers 14
Voted most deserving of a bye week.
21. Arizona Cardinals 19
Yearn for good ol' days of 2015.
22. New Orleans Saints 24
Will take pass when comes to running.
23. New York Jets 27
Revis catching more heat than INTs.
24. Carolina Panthers 28
Goodell to Cam: Maybe try medic alert.
25. Tampa Bay Buccaneers 21
0-4 when play in front of pirate ship.
26. Indianapolis Colts 22
Renaming O-line, O-no.
27. Baltimore Ravens 25
Riding wave of anticipation for off-season.
28. Los Angeles Rams 26
Fashionably late in playing No. 1 pick.
29. Chicago Bears 30
Basking in irrelevancy.
30. Jacksonville Jaguars 29
Dream of day when point spread under 7.
31. San Francisco 49ers 31
Scoreboard mysteriously not working.
32. Cleveland Browns 32
Eager to get their participation trophy.