NFL Power rankings

1. New England Patriots          (last week)  1

Bill wanted LeBron thrown in Collins deal.

2. Dallas Cowboys                                       3

Romo practicing clipboard drills.

3. Seattle Seahawks                                     2

Feel refs should look the other way.

4. Atlanta Falcons                                        6

Own time-share in the end zone.

5. Kansas City Chiefs                                  8

Foles out to prove he’s a quarterback.

6. Oakland Raiders                                      9

Have offense to punch holes in Broncos D.

7. Denver Broncos                                     10

Have defense to punch Raiders’ noses.

8. Minnesota Vikings                                   5

O-line so bad, Norv got sacked.

9. Philadelphia Eagles                                 4

Left their lunch money in Dallas.

10. Green Bay Packers                                7

Have a well-rounded D: no corners.

11. Washington                                           11

Returned from London with nothing but tie.

12. Houston Texans                                   17

Well past their freshness date.

13. Detroit Lions                                        12

Pressure on now that Cubs have won it.

14. Pittsburgh Steelers                             16

Ben can’t afford Ravens taking a knee.

15. Buffalo Bills                                         13

Goal is to outscore their defense.

16. Cincinnati Bengals                              15

Ran out the clock in overtime.

17.  Miami Dolphins                                   18

Have nothing to lose but another game.

18. Tennessee Titans                                 23

Mariota catching on to this QB thing.

19. New York Giants                                  20

Feel like they won bye week.

20. San Diego Chargers                            14

Voted most deserving of a bye week.

21. Arizona Cardinals                                19

Yearn for good ol' days of 2015.

22. New Orleans Saints                             24

Will take pass when comes to running.

23. New York Jets                                      27

Revis catching more heat than INTs.

24. Carolina Panthers                               28

Goodell to Cam: Maybe try medic alert.

25. Tampa Bay Buccaneers                     21

0-4 when play in front of pirate ship.

26. Indianapolis Colts                              22

Renaming O-line, O-no.

27. Baltimore Ravens                              25

Riding wave of anticipation for off-season.

28. Los Angeles Rams                            26

Fashionably late in playing No. 1 pick.

29. Chicago Bears                                   30

Basking in irrelevancy.

30. Jacksonville Jaguars                        29

Dream of day when point spread under 7.

31. San Francisco 49ers                         31

Scoreboard mysteriously not working.

32. Cleveland Browns                             32

Eager to get their participation trophy.